Eight ways to support someone who is grieving

Check in on your loved one with regular phone calls and messages. This can make the world of difference, especially a few months after the funeral when it may seem as though everyone else has moved on. Finding the right words might feel awkward, but remember that any social discomfort you feel will only be a fraction of the emotion that the bereaved is likely to be feeling.

Grief affects everyone differently. Some people will want to discuss their emotions, while others will prefer to avoid the subject. It’s important to listen to the bereaved, and allow them to steer the conversation as they would like.

Avoid saying things like ‘I know how you feel’, as everyone experiences grief differently. It can be a nice idea to share your own bereavement stories where appropriate however, to highlight that grief is survivable, and to let your loved one know that they will smile and laugh again.

Placing your arm around the bereaved or holding their hand can provide comfort and reassurance. It can also encourage them to open up in ways they otherwise may not.

The loss of a loved one can result in the bereaved being completely overwhelmed by day-today responsibilities that they didn’t have to consider previously. Offering to take care of simple tasks such as their grocery shopping or mowing the lawn a mean a great deal.

The support of a professional with suitable skills and experience may be helpful. Bereavement counselling may not be a welcome suggestion in the early days following a death, but it may be worth considering a few months or even years later if needed.

Losing a loved one can have a lasting effect on the life of an individual. Major events such as birthdays and anniversaries are likely to be particularly difficult, so you may want to offer extra support on these days.

It’s important to allow the bereaved to cry. Releasing emotion is an important part of the process and crying helps to reduce the feelings of stress and sadness. Your instinct may be to tell the bereaved not to cry, but it’s best to avoid this.

For more information and support with bereavement, please follow this link to a list of trusted charities, organisations and support groups that you can contact.