A study conducted by a UK provider of pre-paid funeral plans has revealed that the average age of respondents when they first became aware of death was just 9 years old. The study further reveals that the earliest memory of death of almost half of the respondents was of someone they knew (46%), with one in five saying their first memory was the death of a pet (20%).
The survey asked, “How, if at all, did your earliest memory/experience about death/dying affect you?” Out of those who responded (1,213), 29% said their earliest memory or experience was traumatic/upsetting/shocking, with 14% feeling anxious or worried, and 3% saying it made them lose sleep. By contrast, 22% were not affected and 10% said it was a gentle, sensitive experience.
The survey was conducted by OnePoll on behalf of pre-paid funeral plan provider, Ecclesiastical Planning Services, and was completed by 1,500 UK residents aged 50 and above. The Poll sought to understand participants’ experiences of death at a young age.
With 46% of respondents mentioning the death of someone they knew as their first encounter, and 20% talking about the death of a pet, a further18% said they were not sure. 6% said their first memory was from school. Whilst only 4% said they first encountered death in a film or TV programme, the death of Bambi’s mother was particularly impactful, with 20% of respondents mentioning this.
According to the NHS Children’s understanding of death and reactions to loss, by the age of 7 children accept that “death is inevitable and that all people, including themselves, will eventually die.” The NHS goes on to state that children between the ages of five and 10 will often copy the coping mechanisms they observe in adults, or they may try to hide their emotions to protect family members.
Losing a loved one early on can also have significant impacts in later life. According to Child Bereavement UK, “the way (a child’s) bereavement is managed at the time of and after a death can have long-term consequences.” It’s therefore important that adults are open and honest about their feelings with children and don’t dismiss the child’s own feelings.
Emma Simpson, Marketing Manager at pre-paid funeral plan provider, Ecclesiastical Planning Services, which commissioned the research, said: “Grief impacts people in many ways, and when it happens at a young age, this can be confusing. Experiences of death and grief are very personal, which is highlighted through this research. For some people, their earliest memory of death and dying can even come from films.”
These findings also underscore the importance of being open about death and dying, and one way to do that is to consider planning ahead for end-of-life arrangements. Pre-paid funeral plans offer a way to prepare for the inevitable, ensuring that loved ones are supported and that personal wishes are discussed and respected. Ecclesiastical Planning Services continues to work closely with funeral directors to provide families with peace of mind through thoughtful, pre-arranged funeral planning.
Source: OnePoll research of 1,500 UK residents aged 50 and above, on behalf of Ecclesiastical Planning Services, November 2024.